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Tuesday, September 19, 2017 by Vansh
It was a day like any other… I was swiping on Tinder and I realized that I was not doing anything remotely productive but just moving my fingers from left to right (mostly left). If you have Tinder you likely have a love/hate relationship with the app. There are moments when you find something worth exploring but most of the time you come across potential bachelors that make you wish you did not have to take part in this 21st century dating spectacle. You start to dream of the days when guys approached women at the bar and asked for their number. Maybe even someone approaching you in the park while you are taking your dog for a walk. Regardless of your day-dream, you often wonder what your parents actually did back in the good old days to even meet. Being in your 20’s is not a walk in the park when it comes to dating. Guys are more selfish than selfless and it is this attitude that has brought on what I like to call the “Cold” state of mind. The COLD State of mind is where you are so completely exhausted with the idea of dating that you delete all your apps and come to terms with being by yourself. This can be a great learning experience, trust me…. I’ve have done it on and off for three years but it also has a downside. When you enter this state of mind, it can flip the emotional light switch in your brain causing you to build a wall so high that no one can climb it or knock it down.
Let’s talk about why this is happening……
When you have social media profiles dedicated to “Tinder Pick Up Lines” we likely have a huge problem on our hands in the dating world. Guys would rather message you on a dating app or slide into your DM’s (direct messages). I have been on many Tinder dates but honestly, these pre date conversations typically start out the same. You either get the guy that goes with the cheesy pick up-line tactic, “Hey what’s up,” a sexual reference, grammar so bad you’d rather talk to a pre-schooler, or they pull the “match & chill” (this is where they never speak, most likely a serial right swiper).
As females, how do we solve this problem? Is there a resolution?
Many people have met through online dating and formed happy, successful relationships. Some have even moved forward to getting married. Unfortunately for most of the woman out there, we fall into the category of not being able to find our match. If everyone was less focused on hiding their feelings and learned to be honest and blunt. We may actually make some progress in the dating world. Instead, we say what they we think people want in our profiles, instead of sharing our true feelings. By not decorating our profile with the best pictures, emojis, and even exaggerating about our bio, we may actually find the right person. If you want to have sex and aren’t looking for a relationship, voice that. If you have a fear of commitment, need a friend, of just want to voice what turns you off, PUT IT ON YOUR PROFILE. Contrary to popular belief women and men are not mind readers, women want men to figure out what they want. The truth is ladies, a guy has no idea what you want unless you tell him. He is never going to figure it out, hints do not work, if you are that scared to tell him, write him a note. I know this may go against everything we’ve learned about dating in our century but transparency may be exactly what our generation needs. If we continue to try to present this false persona of an exciting life on social media, we may really miss out on finding the person that connects with us on a deep emotional level.