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Monday, September 18, 2017 by Nadia
All dating guides declare the importance of asking open-ended questions. They are essential for making the date flow and showing that you are interested in her. Furthermore, they allow her to talk about her favorite subject (herself ) instead of listening to your football stories.
The beauty of open-ended questions is that they encourage full responses rather than brief yes or no answers. Think how different the conversation would be if you asked ”Why did you study English?” rather than "You studied English, right?" The former leads to an actual conversation about what she wants and what she enjoys, while the latter invites a simple one-worded “yes” response.
To engage in a successful and interesting first-date conversation, take note of the points below. Don’t use these tips as a script, however. Once the conversation gets going, it should flow on its own accord.
Friends and familyQuestion 1: "So, what do your parents do for a living?"
Question 2: "What do you and your friends do for fun?"
Talking about friends and family is something most people can do at length. Questions about these topics make excellent icebreakers, they're natural questions to ask — not too personal or invasive — and they easily lead to an in-depth conversation.
Listen to her answers and ask follow-up questions. For example, if she says she's from a large family, ask how often they all get together — it'll often lead to stories of family weddings or Christmas parties. If you have friends in common, this is an easy place to start the conversation. Asking how she knows so-and-so, how someone in particular is doing or how a specific couple broke up can make for interesting conversation and can solidify the feeling that the two of you have something in common.
Just make sure not to dwell on the subject of other people for too long because it’ll prevent you from really getting to know her.
CareerQuestion 1: "How does someone get into that job?"
Question 2: "What do you want to be doing in five years?"
Other big icebreakers revolve around work. We spend most of our waking hours at work, so it's a subject everyone has much to say about. After the obligatory "What do you do?" question, the possibility for more open-ended questions is endless.
Detailed explanations of the job, her future career plans, why she likes/dislikes it, annoying colleagues, what happened at the office party, and what she would say to her boss if she quit will help you get a true sense of her personality.
Like talking about friends and family, however, try to use this just to get the conversation started. Although everyone could talk about work all night, we don't usually want to; we like to leave the office behind at the end of the day. Be especially wary of letting her moan too long about her job; it could make the date appear as if it was focused on negativity. Move on to something more personal and fun ASAP.
HobbiesQuestion 1: "Why did you start horseback riding?"
Question 2: "What do you enjoy about helping the homeless?"
Getting her to talk about her interests and hobbies moves the conversation in the right direction. These are more personal questions and she'll enjoy talking about them.
If she has quite a serious interest — like charity work, for example — it can take the conversation above meaningless small talk, allow you to show your sensitive side and create the impression of a real connection. On the other hand, quirky hobbies, such as keeping reptiles, will open her up to some light and humorous banter.
More ways to keep her gabbing…